Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#592

From the sublime to the ridiculous....

It’s the last Monday of 2018, and you know what that means--Best Of Lists!  Des goes solo as he chooses the best comics, movies, music, and books, while also doing a little State of The Podcast presentation about what you can expect in 2019!  There’s a particular announcement that will be of interest to Patreons who might want to participate in a little experiment involving myself....

Since I have no idea what Des is going to feature on these lists, here’s Des’ latest horror muse Maika Monroe behaving like a total girly-girl playing Would You Rather?, my latest horror crush Samara Weaving inexplicably wearing an Amerind headdress, Christopher Lee singing with metal group Charlemange (because the world is always made brighter by Christopher Lee singing), and a live performance by the late Jill Janus(RIP) and Huntress

Listen to Dread Media #592 here

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PROJECT PHASE ONE: The Born Losers (1967)

I know a lot of you reading this haven’t walked the Earth as long as I have, so you don’t realize how enormously popular Tom Laughlin’s Billy Jack was in the early 70‘s.  This weird mix of counterculture philosophy and kick-ass action in a (not really) Amerind horse trainer in a cowboy hat was featured in five movies, but the significant ones were 1971‘s Billy Jack, 1974‘s The Trial of Billy Jack, and this picture...and they were shown in theaters almost perpetually.  There were grindhouses here in NYC that would play all three films on the same bill.  He was a ubiquitous pop culture figure of that time.

...and it all began here, and what really strikes me is how the franchise aspect of this key franchise in early 70‘s Grindhouse Cinema was so...tacked on.  There is an introductory sequence with female lead and screenwriter Elizabeth James building up Billy Jack’s legend over footage of him roaming through the woods, and a curious outro (and we’ll get to why this is curious momentarily)...but for the bulk of the film, he’s almost a minor character.  So much of the film is focused on James’ Vicki, who is a...problematic protagonist.  James spends almost all of her time dressed in white, particularly a white bikini, acting like a smart ass and making very bad decisions...until the film requires her to be the scared little flower wilting against Laughlin’s chest.  To say the messages this film conveys to the audience are mixed is an understatement.

It’s a very mean film filled with very nasty characters--even the sympathetic characters seem spurred on by negative emotions (Jane Russell, playing the mother of a raped teenager, is so aggressive in protecting her child that you’re almost scared for the kid even if the biker gang doesn’t get their hands on her).  There is so much hostility on display here that it blunts what I think is what the script is trying to promote, namely that we have to stand up to protect each other, or else all is lost.

And then there’s That Ending....

(Warning: I’m about to spoil a movie over 50 years old.  Deal with it.)

All throughout the film, we’re led to believe that the title refers not only to the titular biker gang, but to the protagonists themselves.  We see how Billy Jack is about to be foreclosed on and how Vicki is ignored by her father.  There are several scenes of Billy Jack being written off or mistreated for being a Native American--even though Tom Laughlin looks nothing like a Native American.  There’s even a...comical? scene where a diner patron explains how Billy Jack and Vicki are doomed because of their zodiac signs.  All this is set up so that Billy Jack acts as the hero, saves Vicki and, by extension, the town from the tyranny of the bikers...only to be killed himself by the cops by...accident? who have come to back him up.  We even see Laughlin shot and lean back as if dead on top of the motorcycle he’s escaping on. Sure, it’s heavy handed, but it works thematically in the context of the two hours we just spent with these characters....

Except that it’s not the ending--we get this outro that, like the intro, seems to have been shot separately from the rest of the film, where Vicki discovers a still-living Billy Jack, declares her love and has him airlifted to a hospital.  I guess I can see why they put these bookends on, since Laughlin was probably already planning to make Billy Jack a franchise.  But it puts a sour note on an already sour movie, and muddies what I think was initially intended.

The Born Losers is an important film in the development of genre cinema....but I don’t know if I can recommend it.  It’s ugly, kinda unpleasant and manages to mess up the thematic and narrative points it was trying to make.  Use your discretion.

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PHASE ONE: Candidates for 1968

Welcome to my pre-school year!  I’m pretty sure I’m in the year that my parents started taking me to movies, and as we move further I’ll have more sense memories of seeing these pictures advertised in newspapers and on TV (Oddly enough, I’m willing to bet my first sense memory of a movie theater is false, as it involves 1966‘s Our Man Flint).  Your candidates for this year are:

NUDE DJANGO (a.k.a. BRAND OF SHAME)
It’s named Nude Django, for goodness’ sake!  This is, I assume, a soft core porn parody of the spaghetti westerns that were slowly but surely sliding into the cultural zeitgiest of the time, pretty much influencing the way the western was approached over here.  I’ve seen some soft core porn from the 60‘s (thanks, Joe-Bob Briggs!), and I think there’s a direct connection to be made between this style and the ‘XXX Parodies’ of our modern age.  I love spaghetti westerns (and I’ll elaborate in a little bit), and I’m intrigued by how those tropes translate into the porn genre....

I couldn't find a trailer for this that's Safe For Work, but if you're  an adult, you can go here.  It is NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!

SPIRITS OF THE DEAD

This was a candidate that never quite made it during my 2018 Halloween Horrorfest.  I love anthology films, and the combined star power both in front of and behind the camera intrigues me.  After all, it’s not every day you can get Fellini, Louis Malle and Roger Vadim to direct short adaptations of Edgar Allen Poe stories starring Jane Fonda, Alain Delon, Terrence Stamp and Bridgette Bardot.  I’m am so intrigued by what that mess of talent came up with....


THE GREEN SLIME

Yes, the Green Slime are coming, and they’re going to interfere in Richard Jaeckel and Robert Horton’s fight over who gets to sleep with the stunning Luciana Paluzzi!  A notorious Toei/MGM co-production about a weird alien menace...well, menacing a space station with its electrifying tentacles has this rep of being ‘so bad it’s good’ (and having one of the weirder theme songs ever recorded)  I want to see if it earns that rep, or is it just so bad it’s BAD.

IF YOU MEET SARTANA, PRAY FOR YOUR DEATH

As mentioned earlier, I am a fan of spaghetti westerns.  I’ve heard about the Sartana series, about a well-dressed, mysterious and amoral gunslinger who may very well be the Angel of Death, but never seen a canonical one--like Django, a lot of filmmakers plopped the Sartana name on totally unrelated movies hoping to make some extra money.  This is the first of the official Sartana quadrilogy, featuring Gianni Garko as the enigmatic hero, and also boasts the Awesomeness That Is Klaus Kinski, so I suspect there’s no way it can fail to entertain.

Please head over to my Twitter Page and vote.  You have until the afternoon of January 4th to make your voice heard.

Oh, and on a related note--if you like these polls and are a fan of Dread Media (and you’re a fan of Dread Media, right?  Right?), you might want to join their Patreon Page for Horrors of My Life, another monthly chance to choose my fate, starting in the new year!

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PROJECT PHASE ONE: Five Million Years To Earth (a.k.a. Quatermass and the Pit, 1967)

Man, this was...Intense.

Hammer Studios is not very well known for its science fiction.  Perhaps their showiest effort, the ridiculous western-in-space Moon Zero Two, may very well be the only Hammer movie spoofed by MST3K (I’m sure I will be corrected if I’m wrong).  But when they were able to meld their gothic sensibilities with hard sci-fi like in this adaptation of a Nigel Kneale teleplay, it’s amazing.

If you don’t know who Nigel Kneale is, you should.  He’s as instrumental in the fashioning of genre televisual storytelling in Great Britian as Rod Serling was in the United States, utilizing horror and science fiction tropes to comment directly on the world around him.  The thing was that unlike Serling, who seemed to always hold out a modicum of hope for humanity, Kneale was convinced we were fucked from the beginning.  Hell, this whole movie hinges on the concept of humankind being an experiment by alien grasshoppers--who had hardwired us to hate any of our kind who wasn’t the ideal they had in mind!  We were just pawns in Kneale’s mind, and his dark visions served as inspiration for John Carpenter (who got Kneale to write the script for Halloween III: Season of the Witch, and utilized the Quatermass teleplays as a template for Prince of Darkness) and Chris Carter (who supposedly asked Kneale repeatedly to contribute a script for The X-Files, only to be turned down every time).

This film gets Kneale’s most beloved character (and star of two previous Hammer films)Professor Quatermass (Andrew Kier) involved with a curious artifact uncovered during a subway renovation.  The military, represented by the stiff-upper-lipped Colonel Breen (Julian Glover) feels that its an unexploded Nazi bomb, even after it’s revealed that the material used to fashion the artifact is unlike any known substance and there’s the mummified remains of weird, tri-legged insects inside.  Quatermass, with the help of a paleontological team on site (James Donald and Barbara Shelley) suspects that the artifact is a spacecraft and the insects are Martians whose experimentation on the simians that were our ancestors led to the myths of demons throughout the world.  Not surprisingly, the military ignores Quatermass’ theory and things go horribly, horribly--one could almost say apocalyptically--Wrong.

This film is a slow burn, but that’s to be expected; Kneale’s script is interested in hard science fiction, which means a lot of investigation, speculation and discussion.  Sure, director Roy Ward Baker slides in a telekinetic freakout or a disturbing, lo-fi video of rampaging devil insects to alleviate any potential boredom, but this is a story of ideas...and that’s probably why it works so well being made in the Hammer tradition.  If anything looks kinda off, it’s the very end of the climax with model buildings crumbling and James Donald ramming a construction crane into a wavery energy image of a devil insect...but the final shot of Kier and Shelley leaning against a ruined wall, looking emotionally and physically numb is pure Hammer aesthetic.  Why the studio felt compelled to pursue a pulpier, poppier kind of science fiction is beyond me; if anything, I think that maybe they should have mined the works of British science fiction writers like John Wyndham, which leaned more towards the Gothic sensibilities they knew how to pull off.

Watching this make me think this should be put in the ‘Never Could Be Made Today’category...not because it’s offensive or because it’s outdated, but because it’s specifically adult.  Like all of Kneale’s work, it demands a certain level of intelligence that defies the ‘Four Walling’ mentality.  Kneale wants you to be engaged by his stories, not just entertained.    He wants you to think, for the film to linger in your consciousness as more than just a good time.  I shudder to think how dumbed down a modern version would be.

I certainly recommend this.  Sure, some of the elements are dated (not the sexual aspects of it, surprisingly; Shelley is awfully proactive as the female lead), but it’s still an effective bit of storytelling.

And speaking of dated, on to some vintage Hippies-Versus-Bikers stuff...maybe the most famous Hippies-Versus-Bikers Jam of all time.

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#591

It’s the most Wonderful Time Of The Year, and what better way to celebrate than with this week’s episode full of Yuletide Horror!  First up, Des and Duane spill some Christmas Blood when they cover the 2017 Norse Santa Slasher Juleblod.  Then Rich The Monster Movie Kid sits down for a rather...unconventional holiday dinner with Mercy Christmas. Finally, Des lets me go solo to cover the latest Christmas-themed horror anthology, All The Creatures Were Stirring.

The trailers are here, along with Mark E. Smith of The Fall (R.I.P.) reading his....favorite Christmas story, the absolutely amazing Henry Rollins’ reading of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’ (from a great, long out of print holiday album, A Lump Of Coal) and a discussion of Holiday Horrors--including my nominee for the Next Horror Mascot of The Holidays, Jólakötturinn The Yule Cat!

Have a Great Holidays, and Viva La Jólakötturinn!

Listen to Dread Media #591 here

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PROJECT PHASE ONE: How To Steal A Million (1966)

So the other film that tied for my poll to choose a film for me to watch and report on was this ‘romantic thriller’ starring Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole.  When I browsed through my choices for 1966, I was struck by how many of these light-hearted heist/intrigue pictures were made--I almost went with Gambit, but I already celebrated the super-coolness of 1960‘s Michael Caine earlier in this project with my essay on The Ipcress File.  And it occurs to me, as someone who always liked Peter O’Toole, I haven’t seen a lot of him in his heyday...thus my decision to watch this William Wyler production.

Even though it’s two hours plus in length, this film is very lean.  The romantic thriller tropes are all here--there’s a glamorous location (Paris in this case), a female lead who’s independent-but-not-really (Hepburn’s Nicole), two eccentric characters who will propel and complicate the plot (Eli Wallach’s tightly wound art collector and Hugh Griffith’s art forger) and a dashing mystery man of questionable morals for the female lead to be initially repelled by but then enamored of (Peter O’Toole).  Throw in a Macguffin (a forged statue that’s going to be authenticated) and some comically broad stereotypes to provide comic relief and the film sort of writes itself.  It’s not in the least bit grounded in reality (we’re talking a world where almost all the French people speak perfect American English), and it’s not meant to be; it’s glittery escapist fluff.  That’s probably why the romantic thriller genre petered out when the 70‘s rolled around and the zeitgeist got a whole lot darker.

Hepburn feels like she’s going through the motions, and I suppose after you’ve been in one of the defining films of the subgenre (Charade), any future scenarios may seem boring.  Luckily, the elements around her more than perfectly make up for her laziness, especially O’Toole.  I think Peter O’Toole is not appreciated for how much of a Movie Star he is--he plays a certain type, he does it well, and he manages to make those around him better.  He serves as an anchor to the film, keeping it on track even when inappropriate ethnic humor (There’s a Brazilian millionaire with a comedy accent, and a wine-drinking French museum guard played by the improbably named ‘Moustache’) threatens to make things unpleasant.  I do think the script tips its hand on his character’s true nature way too early in a way that makes his behavior toward Hepburn seem a little condescending, but otherwise he’s the best thing in the film.  I also really liked Wallach’s fast-talking, decisive art collector.  Sure, he’s playing a caricature, but does so with vigor and energy that makes his few scenes sing.

I will admit that the caper feels slight when it’s being pulled off...but it doesn’t feel padded, and the gimmicks O’Toole uses to conduct the heist are both simple and clever.  The impressive thing is that the film’s slightness doesn’t make it feel bloated; this thing actually moves at a good clip, keeping the forward momentum going through its running time.  If anything, the wrap up of the plot goes a little too fast.

I will recommend this movie, although I won’t call it Essential Viewing.  It’s a trifle, but a fun trifle.

On to 1967...

MY KIND OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC: Merry Merry Frickin’ Christmas by Frickin’ A

I will admit that this is very dated...but it never fails to put a smile on my face.

Even though I have lived in New York City my whole life, I am--thanks to my hatred of the entitlement and spoiled attitude of Yankees fans--a Red Sox fan.  So you can understand why a Christmas song about the magical season of 2004 (a season that was heralded by the release of a new version of the Sox anthem ‘Tessie’ by the Dropkick Murphys) actually gives me the giggles.

Oddly enough, the band that recorded this little piece of time suspended in digital amber is not from Boston, but from Cincinnati.  They bear the distinction of being the only band to ever be featured in the Now That’s What I Call Music series that were on an independent label at the time.  From what I can glean, this song was debuted at Boston’s Kiss 100 Jingle Ball concert prior to being released as a B-side to their cover of Rick Springfield’s ‘Jessie’s Girl.’  They apparently love baseball, as they also wrote and performed the theme song for the Cincinnati Red Radio Network, and I have to assume that they wrote this song in celebration of what was then a unique event.

I think the reason why Frickin’ A couldn’t capitalize on their success with their cover of a guilty pleasure and a Christmas-themed novelty record about baseball is its blandness.  When I first heard this song, I thought it was by Bowling for Soup who, the year before, had recorded a Yankees-centric version of ‘1985‘ for local radio station Z-100 (it’s as awful as it sounds).  The fact is, Frickin’ A sounds an awful lot like that Texas ska punk band (who also made their bones on a cover; ‘1985‘ was originally written and performed by SR-71), and there’s nothing there that distinguishes them as unique.  Frickin’ A just drifts into the aether like any of a number of alt-rock bands from the late 90‘s to the early ‘00s.

So enjoy this dated track from fourteen years ago that still warms my shriveled, anti-festive heart!  I've never been able to find an official music video, so here's a fan made one....

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#590

It’s cults and garden tools used as weapons in this week’s episode!  First up, Des is joined by  Brittney and Jeff to cover Gareth Evans’ Netflix original The Apostle, then Rich The Monster Movie Kid dips his toe into the Leaf Blower Massacre franchise.

Yes, that’s a thing.  No, I didn’t know either.

The trailers are below, plus a parody trailer for The Pennsylvania Leaf Blower Massacre.  You laugh, but apparently countless people throughout America think the idea of a killer using a leaf blower is funny.

Listen to Dread Media #590 here

MY KIND OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC: Sometimes You Have To Work On Christmas (Sometimes) byHarvey Danger

For some bizarre reason, I have found myself this year acting as the moderator for the series of Christmas discussions over at the Elmcor Golden Phoenix Center.  This is bizarre because, well, I really don’t like Christmas much, and I especially dislike Christmas music.

You see, I was in retail for over a decade, mainly serving as assistant manager for a sporting goods store on Myrtle Avenue, the main drag of the neighborhood of Ridgewood here in New York City.  Myrtle Avenue, being the area’s shopping district, pumped Christmas Music up and down the street.  I lived on  Myrtle Avenue, which meant I was assailed by the Tunes O’ The Season for almost the entire time I was awake for two months.   I heard countless interpretations of the same two dozen or so holiday scenarios, and I came to loathe the genre with a dark, dark passion.  Still do--and there are some that launch me into a rant the likes of which you have never seen (‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ has nothing to do with Christmas, and it’s about date rape; the original recording called the two vocalists ‘the Spider’ and ‘the Fly.’  It is hideous, and I will fight you if you insist otherwise).

...But I don’t hate all Christmas music.  There are holiday songs that I have affection for.  Not surprisingly, many of them are somewhat dark and kinda grounded in a reality most of the sugar-frosted trifles we think of as Christmas music aren’t.  I would like to share those songs I do like with you.

To start with, let’s look at this hyper-obscure single from a one-hit-wonder of the late 90‘s.  You may not know where you know Harvey Danger from--Hell, you might not even remember the correct name of their one monster hit*--but you know them.  Just say the words ‘Disturbing Behavior’ to a film fan who grew up around 1998, and I’ll be surprised if said fan doesn't start singing ‘Paranoia, Paranoia/Everybody’s coming to get me.’  But this Seattle band had a career after ‘Flagpole Sitta,’ and they put out this bittersweet ode to having to work on the Biggest Holiday of The Year around the time they put out their last album.

I like this so much because it views the holiday from a point of view we don’t think about much.  After all, loads of people have to operate the restaurants and movie theaters and grocery stores we go to on that day we’re supposed to be spending with our family and we don't think of how painfully lonely these people must be.  Harvey Danger thought about them, and they're going to share their thoughts with you.  Enjoy.

*--I am a fan of covers, and I possess one cover of ‘Flagpole Sitta’ by The Punk Shop Boys that is titled ‘I’m Not Sick But I’m Not Well.’  

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PHASE ONE: Candidates for 1967

Okay, it’s time to watch some films from the third year of my life!  Your choices for this poll are:

QUATERMASS AND THE PIT (A.k.a. FIVE MILLION YEARS TO EARTH)

Hammer and science fiction didn’t mix often, and an argument could be made that it was for good reasons--if you don’t believe me, endure Moon Zero Two. This, the third adaptation of Nigel Kneale’s Quatermass series of teleplays, has little competition in being the best of the lot.  I’ve never seen it--I missed it at the recent Hammer retrospective at the 12th Street Cinema here in NYC, where it was playing on a double bill with The Devil Rides Out--and, as a fan of Kneale’s work, I’d like to see it.

GAMES

Curtis Harrington was a weird filmmaker.  He worked with Kenneth Anger during the nascent days of the Underground movement, made two films out of some Russian science fiction footage Roger Corman bought the rights to, and then proceeded to make these strange psychological thrillers, including two Psychobiddy entries.  This is generally considered his best film, featuring James Caan and Katherine Ross as a upper class proto-yuppie couple who engage in some pretty unhealthy ‘games’ with a psychic woman.  It rarely aired on television when I was younger and becoming fascinated with these kinds of narratives, so I’m curious to see if it’s as good as its reputation.

Like with Hammer, expect Harrington to show up in this project again.

THE BORN LOSERS

This trailer doesn’t let you in on the reason why this film is legendary to genre fans.  If you took it at face value, you’d assume this was just another biker film.  But the glum looking guy in the sou’western hat is Tom Laughlin, playing Billy Jack, a character who would make him a very rich man for about a decade and change.  I still have memories of a local movie theater sometimes playing the entire ‘’Billy Jack Trilogy’ (there are two other Billy Jack films that were made in 1976 and 1986 respectively, and barely received any distribution theatrically).  I’m familiar with the other two flicks, but not with this one, which does not feature his wife Dolores Taylor.  I’d like to see where it all began.


GOOD TIMES

For the second time in a row, I can’t find a trailer for this film, so here’s the title number.  I could go on about my fascination with the films built around major musical acts by movie studios looking for the next Beatles or Elvis franchise, but there’s one reason and one reason only that I tried to watch this once before (I fell asleep around the twenty minute mark) and would like to attempt to watch it again.

Good Times was directed by William Freidkin.

Yes, The Exorcist William Freidkin.  Sorcerer William Freidkin.  To Live and Die in LA William Freidkin, in the early days of his career, directed this near-plotless string of sketches showcasing the charisma of Sonny and Cher.  I have mentioned in earlier articles here that I admire Mr. Freidkin, but also admit that when he is bad he’s excruciating.  I am very intrigued to see which Freidkin did this mismatched duo get to shepherd the first in a series of...one! films.  If you choose this entry, I will find out.

The poll will go live sometime tomorrow, December 14th on my Twitter Page, and you will have one week as always to decide.  Please don’t let two people decide this one like the 1966 poll.  And speaking of that poll, I will watch and report on How To Steal A Million this weekend.

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PROJECT PHASE ONE: The Reptile (1966)

As a Monster Kid who grew up in the late 60‘s and 70‘s, I became a big fan of Hammer Films.  Christopher Lee is my Dracula, and Peter Cushing my Dr. Frankenstein (one of the reasons I love the Hammer Frankenstein movies is that the Not-So-Good Doctor is the monster, and his creations just products of his monstrousness...and I can’t think of anyone who could have been so genteel and yet so horrific in the role than Cushing).  My knowledge of the Hammer canon is pretty vast, especially after I re-acquainted myself with the studio’s output in the 90‘s.

And yet there are still gaps in my knowledge of this Golden Age of British Horror Cinema.  Some of these films, for some reason, never got played on WPIX or WWOR in the afternoons or on the weekends.  This movie is one of them, which is weird given how iconic the titular creature’s make-up design is.  I literally knew the face of this creature for decades before seeing the film itself--which I did this Saturday.

The Reptile is unique in its lack of Hammer Horror star power--the closest we have to a recognizable face in this film is Michael Ripper, playing the closest thing this film has to a Van Helsing.  It’s rather interesting that in this film, rescue comes not from an academic but two blue collar guys (one a soldier, one a retired sailor) who had to see the world because their jobs demanded it, whereas the villain is an academic whose own hubris brings on the danger.  And even though the set-up is the classic haunted house scenario (our heroes, played by Ray Barrett and Jennifer Daniels, inherit said house from a brother who Dies Under Mysterious Circumstances), said house is rather modest.  This is a relatively low-key film and it’s reflected in the set design and the general nature of the Cornish village setting.

I suppose here is where I should mention the other real draw for me in choosing it for the 1966 Poll...namely the presence of Jacqueline Pearce as the titular reptile (This is a 52 year old movie; fuck spoilers).  Pearce is lovely and has a wonderful softness that college-aged me wouldn’t believe her capable of when he was crushing on her as Servalan in Blake’s 7, but she’s just not in the film enough.   She doesn’t show up until the film is almost half over, is basically bossed around by her father, plays the sitar and....that’s it.  She’s more a plot point than a character, and once she’s in the admittedly impressive make-up, she’s just a monster running around biting people...because?  Hell, the backstory is so sketchy (why is Marne Maitland’s Malay doing hanging around anyway?) that you’re not sure what is going on.  Then there’s also the unintentionally silly moment where the monstered-up Pearce starts complaining in perfect English that it’s too cold....

Now that I’ve seen this, it’s easy to see why this film ended up as a ‘B’ feature to Rasputin, The Mad Monk and is so little seen.  While it looks nice and has some good atmosphere, nothing really reaches out to separate it from the rest of the Hammer Pack.  In spite of an iconic piece of make-up, this is an Average-to-Slightly-Below-Average entry from the studio.

I think I would encourage you to watch the film if you’re interested in that era stretching from the 60‘s to the mid-70‘s where British studios were cranking out some of the best horror in the world (I know what I just said, and I’m willing to fight to defend that opinion).  However, you’re not missing much if you don’t.

Since 1966 ended in a tie, there’s one more film for me to cover, then it’s on to the third year of my existence.  That horrific first misstep aside, this journey hasn’t been that painful....

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#589

If you’re a fan of the color blue and I Know Who Killed Me didn’t quite do it for you, have we got the movie for you on this week’s episode.  Des and I cover the Mario Bava sadomasochistic...classic?.The Whip and The Body, featuring a badly dubbed Christopher Lee and one of the most beautiful women of the 60‘s made to look exactly like the other female lead.  Find out if this movie, designed to confuse people into thinking they were watching a Hammer film, is an unjustly forgotten masterpiece or a masterful piece of tatt!

Then Rich The Monster Movie Kid checks out the controversial Lars Von Trier film (but then, aren’t they all?) The House That Jack Built.  Does this flick justify all the walk outs it engendered at Cannes?  Find out here!

The trailers are below, as is Lars Von Trier’s terse introduction to his own movie, and Joe Dante talking Mario Bava.

Listen to Dread Media #589 here

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PROJECT PHASE ONE: The Ipcress File (1965)

As I mentioned what seems like ages ago, I’ve only seen the third Harry Palmer film, Billion Dollar Brain (there are three theatrical films, two made-for-TV movies, and one film, Blue Ice--which features series star Michael Caine as a former spy named Harry, that is unofficially considered part of the canon).  When I was doing the Better In The Dark podcast, my friend and co-host Derrick Ferguson and I looked very hard for the others in the series to no avail.  This is the first time I’m seeing this first Harry Palmer entry, and I’m glad to report it holds up.

The story goes that this was Harry Saltzman’s ‘anti-Bond’ series, and boy does it show.  Right up front, this movie is about how plodding and unglamorous the spy life is; in the world of Harry Palmer, this is just a job, complete with desks and paper work and dull days spent in an attic doing surveillance.  Hell, unlike the super-slick and stylish Maurice Binder title sequences of the Bond films, we get the movie’s credits over footage of Palmer literally making his morning coffee!  This is spy movie as police procedural, not as power fantasy/travelogue.  And it’s to the credit of the script and especially the direction of Sidney J. Furie that it remains engaging throughout its almost two-hour running time.

Oh, about Furie--this guy directs the Hell out of this movie.  My prior exposure to Furie’s work was not kind; this is the fellow who directed Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, after all.  But if the story isn’t heightened or stylized, the feel of the film is.  As I got deeper into the plot, the more convinced I was that Furie was being influenced by film noir conventions.  Even mundane scenes are drenched in deep black shadow, and every shot is just slightly off-kilter .  Furie delights in shooting his actors through objects--the closest thing we get to an action sequence is purposely shot through the windows of a telephone booth--to keep us from losing sight of the fact that this is work.  Even the romantic subplot, if you can call it that, between Caine and Sue Lloyd is done in this chilly, matter-of-fact way with dutch angles and long swaths of blackness that somehow is approriate given the world we’re presented in this film.

I will admit that the plot probably isn’t the clearest thing in the world, and a big twist in the last act was telegraphed far too early for it to work as a shock.  But it’s an interesting film that pulls the trick of being more grounded than what passed for spy cinema in its age and seeming somehow all that stranger than the fantasy world we’re presented by the Bonds and Flints and Helms of the era.

It’s funny; when I first saw Billion Dollar Brain, I thought Ken Russell was a bizarre choice for a more realistic spy series.  Now that I’ve seen The Ipcress File, I realize he was exactly the type of director this series embraced.

Needless to say, I’m happy the Poll chose this, and I highly recommend this film--especially for spy culture nuts like me.

Now onto 1966....

The Failed Media Tie-In Bin: MOVE YOUR DEAD BONES by Dr Reanimator

Not every movie can support a media tie-in.  That doesn’t mean that the people behind these movies won’t try. 

Take the motion picture soundtrack.  Especially in the 80‘s and 90‘s, motion picture soundtracks compiled not of the film’s score but songs jammed into the film were pretty damn popular.  Sometimes there weren’t enough songs in the movie, so the label jammed some songs ‘inspired by’ the movie.  Videos of certain songs would flood MTV and those local music video shows chockablock with clips from the movie.  It was all designed to get us out of the house and into the theater, stat. 

But sometimes a movie comes along that isn’t quite a good fit for this strategy.  And that brings us to the case of the 2003 Brian Yuzna entry Beyond Re-Animator.

Beyond Re-Animator is the third and (at this point) final film* in the Herbert West series.  Those of you who are fans of the Fast and Furious films may recognize that, in addition to Jeffrey Coombs, the film stars the diminutive Elisa Pataky, who was briefly Vin Diesel’s love interest in some of those films.  It has some interesting moments, but it’s not very good; on one hand, the thought of a prison warden forcibly re-animating prisoners on death row so they can spend eternity in a perpetual agony of execution is truly novel and chilling, but on the other hand this is a movie that features a rat puppet fighting a severed penis puppet.** As with most of Yuzna’s post-millennium output, it was filmed in Spain.  That’s the only reason I can think that producing a Eurodance techno-song as a tie-in was thought of as a viable idea.

Before you click on this thing, a little warning. It’s dreadful and is guaranteed to leave you in a fit of giggling...but like most Eurodance, it’s horrifically earwormy.  This thing will nestle in the crevices of your brain and not let go for days after you listen to it.  I accept no responsibility for you muttering ‘Move Your Dead Bones’ under your breath for the rest of the week, okay?

Enjoy.

* There are fabled whispers of a fourth script which features West being recruited by the CIA to re-animate the President of the United States, played by William H. Macy.  Given that the franchise has been rebooted recently--and is being rebooted again--I doubt this will ever see light of (digital) projector.
* * If you’re interested in hearing me discuss one of Mr. Yuzna’s best films as a director, I highly encouarge you to go here and listen to the Phase of The Honeywell Experiment that covered Society.

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PHASE ONE: Candidates for 1966

Well, it’s time to enter the Terrible Twos, as I run the poll for which film I’ve never seen from my second year of life I get to watch and report on.

I know, I know...after I finish writing this, I will watch The Ipcress File and report on it.  As a Spy Culture Kid, I’m actively looking forward to it.

Anyway, your choices are:

THE REPTILE

I love Hammer Films, but I haven’t seen all of them, particularly the stranger ones that didn’t show up as often on TV.  Sure, I am well versed in the Dracula and Frankenstein films, but I don’t think I ever saw this movie about Jacqueline Pearce transforming into....well, a reptile that eats people’s faces.  And since I had a thing for Pearce when she was playing Servalan in Blake’s 7 (Imagine Star Trek, only the United Federation of Planets is the bad guy), I’m intrigued to see this earlier effort of hers.

ASSAULT ON A QUEEN

I can’t believe there is no trailer available for this Frank Sinatra vehicle about a crew looking to rob the Queen Mary ocean liner utilizing a WWII U-boat.  It was adapted by Ron Serling from a novel by Jack Finney.  The name caught my eye, and the poster looked kinda neat. That’s about it, really.

BANG BANG YOU’RE DEAD

To me, Tony Randall will always be Felix Ungar, the character he played for three seasons on Gary Marshall’s sitcom adaptation of The Odd Couple.  I think he’s Felix pretty much to everybody of my generation...and yet, before he stepped into the role of his lifetime, Tony Randall had a freakin’ weird career.  When he wasn’t playing mystical Asians or Hercule Poirot, he was playing the straight man in this spy spoof that was originally called Our Man In Marrakesh.  I’m fascinated by this phase of Randall’s career, and its connection to Spy Culture makes me want to see it Badly.

HOW TO STEAL A MILLION

Here’s an example of a genre I think has kind of disappeared from the cultural zeitgeist: the romantic intrigue movie.  The template for this may very well be Hitchcock’s To Catch A Thief, but I may be wrong: you take two attractive leads, one or both of which may be a little...on the edge morally, get them involved in some crazy espionage-or-heist scenario that requires them to get into various, slightly risque hijinx, and let the chips fall where they may.  The romantic intrigue genre survived into the 70‘s, but it was a good ‘date night’ compliment to the spy mania that was running rampant through the mid 60‘s.  This one features Peter O’Toole, an actor I’ve always liked, the iconic Audrey Hepburn and Eli Wallach.  I’ve not seen many of these films, and this seemed like an okay one to pick up on the genre with.

You have until Friday afternoon to head over to my Twitter Page and make your choice; I’m sorry this one was a little late.  I will report in on the winner sometime over the next week.

...and I promise I will cover The Ipcress File before this week is out.

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#588

This week we’re all about traveling to new places, meeting new people and having them try to kill us!  First off, Des and Darryll joins John Cusack in a hotel suite Samuel Jackson claims is haunted in the lesser-known Stephen King adaptation 1408.  Then Rich The Monster Movie Kid checks into Chuck Conners’ roadside museum with Tanya Roberts’ heroic tube top in the hopes that it isn’t a Tourist Trap, an early collaboration of Charles ‘Full Moon’ Band and David ‘Puppet Master’ Schmoeller.

The trailers are below, as is a feature on haunted hotels!

Listen to Dread Media #587 here

Phase X-MAS of...THE HONEYWELL EXPERIMENT!

So I guess Virginia and I have been getting...bolder?...in my experiment, so this phase requires more than just one subject!  So to celebrate the holidays and discuss one of the trend-setting films of the 70‘s, I had my lovely assistant abduct--INVITE, I mean invite Chris Tyler and the Jaconetti Boys of The Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror for a roundtable on the classic 1974 proto-slasher Black Christmas!  This first encounter of Bob Clark with the Yuletide Spirit is a direct descendant of the Slasher Film...even though there’s very little blood.  But there is a bevy of hot sorority sisters including Olivia Hussy wearing the most inappropriate sweater ever, Margot Kidder and Andrea Martin.

Yes, that Andrea Martin.  From SCTV.

So join my impromptu Christmas Party and hope my guests have some insight into this Grindhouse Classic--or Virginia will drive a glass unicorn horn into their skull!

You can listen to the podcast here