HALLOWEEN HORRORFEST 2021/RATAPALOOZA NIGHT FIFTEEN: Killer Rats (a.k.a. Rats 2003)

So The Ratapalooza Randomizer must've talked to last year's Randomizer.

You see, last year I ended up reviewing Mansquito, a made-for-cable monsta movie that was directed by Tibor Takacs.  I was a big fan of Takacs' second film, I, Madman, so I was excited to view this...and was a little disappointed.  Imagine my surprise when tonight I was presented with another Takacs film, one that bluntly lets us know what we're in for with the title, Killer Rats.

Let's start with The Ratapalooza Checklist!

1) IS CANADA SUBBING FOR AMERICA?  No.  This was shot in Bulgaria, but it's trying to sell us on this being Philadelphia because a second unit shot the skyline of that city and used that shot twice.

2) DOES SOMEONE OFFSCREEN THROWS A RAT AT SOMEONE TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT'S ATTACKING HIM?  Nope, but there is a delightful Shower O' Rats.

3) ARE THERE CUTE RAT PUPPETS?  No.  The rats are mostly very dicey CGI with some strategic use of live rats CGI'd up with red eyes.

4) IS THERE A SPEECH ABOUT HOW BAD-ASS RATS ARE?: There is the start of one twice, but both times the speakers are cut off.

5) IS A CAT VICTIMIZED BY RATS? No, but there is a cat victimization moment referred to in dialogue.

6) IS THERE AN EXTERMINATOR CHARACTER, AND IS HE COMIC RELIEF?  There are two exterminators who had the potential to be comic relief, but they're not around for very long.

7) DOES THE RESEARCH RESPONSIBLE FOR THE RAT CATASTROPHE MENTION CANCER? No reason for what the research that made the rats aggressive and telepathic (and in one case, really big) is given.

Samantha (Sara Dowling) has been sent to the Brookdale Institute (A Modern Care Provider Corproation!) to deal with her illegal-substance-related suicide attempt.  The Institute's head Dr. William Winslow (Ron Perlman) assures her the staff is all here to help her...but the place is run down, the miniscule staff is overworked, there might be some malfeasance involved....and, ummm, there's this weird CGI mutant rat leading the rat population in hunting and eating the population..and has its own Renfield in the facility's ropey custodian (Michael Zelniker).  Can Samantha--who is really Jennifer, an undercover reporter, escape this oncoming scaley-tailed apocalypse?

Now, it seems like this is another Takacs film, much like Mansquito, which was filmed with an eye towards selling it to SyFy (The Veneral Disease Pop Culture Network!)...and just like Mansquito it's not very good.  In fact, I would venture to say that it's worse because we don't get the engaging practical effects of Manquito's first half.  But this is a case where I would not lay the blame at Takacs' feet, but at producer/story provider Boaz Davidson.

You may be familiar with Mr. Davidson for producing such things as The Expendables, the two more recent Rambo films (with Rambo: New Blood on the way!), and the ________ Has Fallen franchise.  But he's also produced a metric ton of these Syfy original cheapies, coming up with the story for many of them and even writing some of them.  Thankfully, he gave up directing in the 90's.  While a portion of the problems with this film come from the ropey CGI and the lackluster cast--I'm willing to bet a large portion of the film's budget went to Ron Perlman and Sara Dowling, who we're reminded by all the publicity stuff was in Never Been Kissed--, the real sucking chest wounds that sinks this film lies in its script.  It is very confused, with a lot not explained and things explained that maybe shouldn't have been and characters who are little more than placeholders for scenes between rat nom noms.  Yeah, I know that the script is credited to Jace Anderson and Adam Geirasch, but dammit, Davidson told them what to write about.

The only moments where I was not just passively observing this thing were the moments where I could check a box off the Ratapalooza Checklist.  The monster rat, which in other features would be a payoff in the third act, is shown in the first act and...is really awful looking.  More effective were the moments where we see a giant scaly tail sliding in under vents and such.  The rules of the monsters are confusing and vague (Why do the bites from the big rat confer telepathy onto humans?) and the gore effects are...well, there.  It's not the worst film so far--The Mutation still holds that title due to its sheer ineptness--but it may very be the laziest.  There are moments where I could see how a decision here and there could have improved this film, but at every turn it takes the path of least effort, and that results in something that's not scary, not aggravating...it's...just Not.  Needless to say, this is not recommended.

We're down to the home stretch of Ratapalooza, and the Randomizer has given me something pretty interesting--namely, a failed pilot for a horror anthology show that was released theatrically and features as one of its four stories something called 'Night of The Rat.'  Join me back in the hazy year of 1983 for Nightmares!

There are presently six open slots for this year's festival*, and if you'd like to be included, there are four ways to get your share of the spotlight:

1) You can become a Domicile of Dread Patreon at any level.  Patreons always get a free slot, as well as advance access to podcasts and other goodies!

2) You can buy me a coffee at Ko-Fi.  Suggested donation is $3

3) You can make a donation to Queens Community House Covid-19 Relief and Recovery Campaign.  Suggested donation is $10.  Please forward your receipt to me as proof.

4) You can choose to make a donation to the charity chosen by a sponsor on his/her/their day. Like with the third possibility, please forward me proof of donation.

It is not necessary to choose a rat-based horror film.  However, if you do, I will forward you a special Ratapalooza banner you can display on your website.

*--I should mention that I presently have only four rat movies left, which means there will be two slots that anyone who wants to contribute can force me to watch whatever they want!