HALLOWEEN HORRORFEST 2021/RATAPALOOZA NIGHT SEVENTEEN: Rat Scratch Fever (2011)

...sigh...

I have been doing the Halloween Horrorfest for four years now.  The first year I did it out of boredom.  The three years since I've done it as a way to raise money for good causes, to shed light on causes people might not think about and, yeah, to raise some money for myself.  But there's also, for me, the sense of discovery.  By using sponsors, celebrity guests and the Randomizer, I usually end up experiencing films I would not otherwise experience.  The joy of telling people about watching fare such as Onibaba or All About Evil in the hopes of getting others turned on to these gems is what keeps me going.

But there's always that one moment in every Horrorfest, that moment where I start questioning the validity of hosting this month-long event every year...and start questioning my life choices as well.  Those are the moments where my despair overwhelms me, where I feel that what I am doing is futile.  It's the moment where I almost give in to the deepest depression my mental illness can serve up.

Rat Scratch Fever is that moment for me in the Year of Our Lord 2021.

I guess we should go through The Ratapalooza Checklist....

1) IS CANADA SUBBING FOR AMERICA?  No.  This was shot in L.A.

2) DOES SOMEONE OFFSCREEN THROWS A RAT AT SOMEONE TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT'S ATTACKING HIM?  No.

3) ARE THERE CUTE RAT PUPPETS?  I don't know if everyone will find these Rat Phink-esque puppets cute, but I do...plus we have some rat plushies playing giant rats.

4) IS THERE A SPEECH ABOUT HOW BAD-ASS RATS ARE? No, actually.

5) IS A CAT VICTIMIZED BY RATS? Yes.

6) IS THERE AN EXTERMINATOR CHARACTER, AND IS HE COMIC RELIEF?  No.

7) DOES THE RESEARCH RESPONSIBLE FOR THE RAT CATASTROPHE MENTION CANCER? The research of this is more about space exploration than medical concerns.

Sonja (Tasha Tacosa) is the only survivor of a space mission to 'Planet X' on behalf of the Steele Space Corporation, and she's not herself.  It seems that Planet X was full of giant rats, and some of those rats not only snuck on board the spaceship, but entered Sonja through her naughty bits and turned her into a Queen Rat Zombie.  She then proceeds to do...stuff...as Dr. Steele (Randel Malone) tries to hunt her down and kill her.  Unfortunately for us, Dr. Steele doesn't succeed thanks to Sonja's boyfriend Jake (Ford Austin), who unwittingly gives her shelter while she continues to prey on guys for their blood...which I guess makes her a Queen Rat Zombie Vampire.  And then giant rats descend from Griffith Park and there's an...apocalypse, I guess?

This is the misbegotten child of one Jeff Leroy, who wrote and directed this.  An examination of Mr. Leroy's cv reveals that he also directed such films as Giantess Attack, Werewolf In A Woman's Prison, Frankenstein In a Woman's Prison and Giantess Attack vs. Mecha Fembot.  But even before seeing these titles, I knew what this guy is all about.  This is one of these guys who writes and directs inept and sloppy films where the concept is more important than the plot or the acting or the look of the film because he can pass these films off as 'fun throwbacks to the grindhouse era.'

Fuck guys like Jeff Leroy, and fuck other 'neo-grindhouse' hacks like him.  They think that intentionally making things inept and acknowledging it (there's a mock production stamp that proclaims itself 'Low Grade Productions' in the tradition of Lord Lew Grade's ITV television network) frees them from actually having to try, which is an insult to genuine grindhouse films.  The thing that Leroy doesn't realize is that grindhouse films were low budget and frequently inept because these people didn't have money--but they had enthusiasm and drive that sometimes made up for the lack of finance.  Leroy is insulting people who made vintage grindhouse films sincerely by using the tradition they created to cover up his lack of imagination and willingness to spend money.

There wasn't a moment while I was watching this film where I was engaged or amused or entertained.  The film drags at a glacial pace, which is something impressive given that it is edited like an 80's music video.  There are moments that you know Leroy is assuming will be big moments--a couple of action film-esque one-liners, a couple of 'shocking' gore effects--but they fail to land completely.  It's filled with the kinds of actors who only get parts in student films and similarly low rent epics like this (I should point out that I recognized Malone from another lazy crapfest familiar to viewers of Red Letter Media and Possum Reviews, The Amazing Bulk).  It's incoherent in the way people like him believe is incoherent, when it's all too obvious what is going on.

I know there are going to be people who will mock me for taking this too seriously, or who will admonish me to 'turn off my brain and enjoy.'  I like movies that engage my brain, thank you very much, and also movies that are not calculated in their ineptness under the guise of a 'fun throwback.'  Say what you'd like about Ray Dennis Steckler or Andy Milligan--but they wanted to make good movies and tried to do so; that they failed so spectacularly is why those guys will be remembered long after Jeff Leroy has melted away into obscurity.

Fuck this movie.  It's worthless. I deserve Hazard Pay for putting up with this.

Tomorrow...well, I'm running out of films, which means I am going to be stuck with 2020's Big Freaking Rat.  I can only hope it's better than this turd.

There are presently four open slots for this year's festival, and if you'd like to be included, there are four ways to get your share of the spotlight:

1) You can become a Domicile of Dread Patreon at any level.  Patreons always get a free slot, as well as advance access to podcasts and other goodies!

2) You can buy me a coffee at Ko-Fi.  Suggested donation is $3

3) You can make a donation to Queens Community House Covid-19 Relief and Recovery Campaign.  Suggested donation is $10.  Please forward your receipt to me as proof.

4) You can choose to make a donation to the charity chosen by a sponsor on his/her/their day. Like with the third possibility, please forward me proof of donation.

It is not necessary to choose a rat-based horror film.  However, if you do, I will forward you a special Ratapalooza banner you can display on your website.