Tuesday, August 27, 2019

THE MOVIES OF MY LIFE PHASE ONE: GOLGO 13: ASSIGNMENT KOWLOON (1977)

Before I begin, let me state that I watched a horrendous print.  It was washed out (which made the primitive subtitles almost unreadable) and full of the kind of scratches that the acolytes of the Neo Grindhouse Movement cream over.  As such, my understanding of this film might be a little limited.

What I certainly understand is the appeal of Sonny Chiba, who plays the titular character.  He’s actually not in it all that much--the real star is Wayne Newton look-a-like Callan Leung as police inspector Smithy--but he draws the eye every time he is on screen.  Watching him this time around, I could see many of the qualities I respond to in Jason Statham; Chiba has the same sort of steely cool that the Stath has, and the best moments are the ones which allow him to just be an emotionally closed off bad ass.

The film itself....well, isn’t very good.  It’s very derivative of the kind of cop thriller of the 70‘s, as it all revolves around Smithy’s quest to shut down the Hong Kong arm of an international drug syndicate and his maverick ways.  Hell, there’s a good twenty-some-odd minute chunk where Chiba is nowhere to be seen as Smithy’s partner Lin Li trails what seems to be the main villain Chan, fights some thugs, gets captured and gets killed as part of a shootout.  The death, of course, spurs Smithy on in his mission and is complicated when he learns Golgo 13 has been hired to kill Chan by the Miami-based syndicate lest he spills the beans on the whole operation.

It isn’t a big surprise that Chan is only a pawn of a much larger mastermind, and that he’s going to flee the country before Smithy can catch him.  It also isn’t a big surprise that Golgo is assigned to kill this mastermind, especially given that the film has him encounter the mastermind’s young daughter.  I had a whole sense of ‘seen this before’ of pretty much everything.  Even the climax, taking place on a island and involving Chiba hanging off a cliff, seems a tad familiar.  There’s not much other than Chiba’s charisma to latch onto, and since he has so little screen time we’re stuck with some boring Cop-On-The-Edge cliches.
I think this guy looks like Richard Belzer.....

I’d like to be a little more positive, but there’s nothing really to go on.  Reluctantly, I cannot recommend this flick.

Hey!  Wanna Help Support This Blog And Get Cool Goodies In Return?  Then head on over to The Domicile of Dread Patreon Page  and join me on my crusade to Make The World Stranger.  For as little as a dollar a month, you’ll get new fiction and exclusive essays.  Invest a bit more, and get other stuff including advance access to my new television podcast Thomas Deja’s Watching, the Patreon Exclusive Podcast Cinematic Mirage (First episode, focusing on Tales From The Crypt: Dead Easy, is available now for Patrons at the $5 level or more; new episode on The Hunt coming soon), movie commentaries...and even the chance to assign me articles that’ll be published on this very blog!

Monday, August 26, 2019

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#626

It’s time for a good ol’ fashioned potpourri episode with an International Flavor.  First up, Des and Duane sit down for some tales by the fireside as they look at 2017‘s Ghost Stories from the UK.  Then I share my Korean homework with you as I discuss Chan Wook Park’s vampire noir Thirst!

The trailers are below, as is a documentary on ghost stories around the globe, a discussion of the best Korean horror films (some of which I will probably view), and music from Ghost and Korean all-girl metal band Walking After U!

(I think I'm in love)

Listen to Dread Media #626 here

Sunday, August 25, 2019

HALLOWEEN HORRORFEST 2019: Here We Go Again....

Banner courtesy of Chris Honeywell
Yeah, it’s still hot out, but you’ve already seen the displays at the local supermarket.  Halloween is coming.

And if you were here last year, you know what else is coming...the Halloween Horrorfest!

Last year’s Horrorfest was mainly an improvisational thing.  After choosing random films caused me some agita (I’m looking at you, Zombie Hunter), I ended up conducting daily polls.  I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t excited by the thrill of not knowing what I was going to watch every morning when I woke up....but I’m also going to admit that the constant ‘nowness’ of it all wore me out.  So I’m going to try something different this year.

Oh, don’t worry....you’ll still get to run the Horrorfest.  But we’re doing it differently this year.

Starting today, you will get a chance to sponsor a film for me to watch and write about during the Horrorfest.  I am lifting almost all the restrictions I had during last year’s month-long party save one--I have to be able to find it after a reasonable search for it.  I would prefer not to spend a lot of money to rent it out, and I am not going to spend money on a blu-ray or DVD if I haven’t seen it before.  Preferably I’d like to find it streaming.  Other than that, you can ask me to literally watch any horror movie your heart desires.  You can try to turn me onto something I’ve never seen before...or make me suffer.

There are two ways you can sponsor a movie for this year’s Festival O’ Fear:

1) You can become a patron at the Deja’s Domicile of Dread at the $3 Tier or Greater between now and September 30th.  If you sign up, you’ll get a special link to my schedule for the event where you can fill in the movie of your choice on the day of your choice.

2) You can make a one-time donation of $3 or more at the Halloween Horrorfest Paypal Pool between now and September 30th.  As above, when you donate, you’ll get the link to assign your movie to me.

I know what you’re thinking--what if the 31 slots fill up?

If our schedule becomes stuffed....the Horrorfest will go on into November.  I will watch a film a day until the whole list is exhausted.  I know this may cost me my sanity (I had to take some time away from watching film last year--and that was only October!), but I’m willing to take the hits for as long as they last.  You know me...I’m all about Interactivity!

This is your chance to program my destiny....so get to it!

(And if you like the feeling of telling me what to do, consider becoming a Patreon at the $10 a month Tier, where you get to assign me articles on a quarterly basis as well as participate in events like the Horrorfest for free!)

Monday, August 19, 2019

IF EVERYBODY’S DOING IT, WHY CAN’T WE: Cinematic Mirage Episode One Available Today!

As promised, the first episode of Cinematic Mirage: The Theater of Movies That Do Not Exist went live at 12:01a.m today.  This half-hour presentation dissects the case of Tales From The Crypt Presents Dead Easy, what was supposed to be the first feature film of the TotC franchise.

Cinematic Mirage is the first Patreon Exclusive Podcast for Deja’s Domicile of Dread Patreon.  On an irregular basis, I’ll be examining those films that were announced, entered pre-production, maybe (like this film) had footage shot, but never made it to theatrical release.  I’ll also sometimes explore movies that exist only in my head based on extrapolations from extant movies, like The Thirteenth Friday.  And when the time comes, I’ll be presenting special episodes on films whose existence may be in doubt right this minute...like the one on the kafuffle surrounding The Hunt that I’ll be preparing in the next few weeks.

To get all this goodness, you’ll need to become a Patron at the $5 level or more.  At the $5 level, you’ll also get advance access to Thomas Deja’s Watching, exclusive fiction (like the first segment of Liberty, a super hero pulp epic , which will be available by the end of this month) and reviews of current movies.  If you opt for one of the higher tiers, you’ll also get free movie commentaries and the chance to assign me articles for this very blog.

(Of course, if you want to sign up at lower tiers, you’ll get stuff, too--at the $3 tier you get me to watch a horror movie of your choice for the 2019 Halloween Horrorfest!  More info soon!)

Please go to The Domicile of Dread Patreon to sign up and download this podcast.  I’m really excited about doing this bit of Cinematic Archaeology, and I’d love for you to join me on this journey.

I’ve saved you a seat.  Come on In!

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#625

Remember Episode 600‘s venture into 90‘s Horror Franchises with a look at the five Prophecy flicks?  Did you enjoy that?  Well, this week Des and I dive into the Warlock trilogy.  We talk about the Awesomeness That Is Julian Sands, how the trilogy is really just three stand-alone pictures that happen to have a warlock in it, the preponderance of the ‘Laura Ashley With Boots’ look, some unnecessary sexism, my crush on Paula Marshall and Des' crush on Ashley Laurence!

(Plus we bring up sequels-in-our head where our Warlock faces off against Kirstie from Hellraiser and Jerilynn from Tales From The Crypt Presents Demon Knight....which is tangentally related to both an upcoming episode of DM and the first episode of my Patreon-Exclusive podcast Cinematic Mirage!)

The trailers are here, as is Julian Sands loving on a turtle, Richard E. Grant acting like a kid picking out DVDs, and some music from the band Warlock!

Listen to Dread Media #625 here

Sunday, August 18, 2019

THE MOVIE OF MY LIFE PHASE ONE: Candidates for 1978

Okay, 1978.  I am now living on the third floor of a building on Jamaica Avenue in Woodhaven, which was a major commercial area and is in the perpetual shadow of the J line.  I am literally traversing the length of Queens, as I’m going to Benjamin Cardoza High School in Bayside and getting into scraps almost every. Damn. Day.  I am hanging out with some misfits like Frank Hause (obsessed with porn) and Brendan Mullarkey (obsessed with horse racing), and I seem to be getting a little more...serious in my comic book writing and filmaking, having made a number of home made comics and partially completed Super 8 epics with my downstairs neighbor Eric.  During the Fall I spent Far Too Much Time in Ruby’s of Woodhaven, a costume shop two blocks from me that had an incredible supply of Halloween masks and magic tricks.  This is the beginning of a long period where my fashion choices become....questionable, as I’m rocking white shoes and a suede pullover jacket that seems to have been more appropriate for hunting in the midwest than commuting on the east coast.

This also might be the year of two of the more notorious incidents in my teen years--the famous Masturbating Monkey Encounter and the Warren Zevon Pizza Incident--but I’m not sure.  I am pretty sure this is the year I gain an unhealthy crush on a classmate named Jennifer, the year I tried to learn disco dancing, and the year I became reacquainted with two of my favorite TV shows, The Avengers* and Kolchak: The Night Stalker, as they were run as part of CBS’ late-night line-up.

Anyway....Your candidates for 1978 are:

THE SILENT PARTNER

Even though this is listed as an American film, its Canadian-ness shines through--I mean, John Candy is in it.  It’s not a comedy, though; it’s supposedly an unjustly forgotten neo-noir about a bank teller (Elliott Gould--who at this time was considered a sex symbol) who takes advantage of a robbery by pocketing some of the money himself...only to find out the robber (Christopher Plummer) knows what he did, and would like that money back.  I’ve heard this is exceptionally good, and I love me some well-made neo-noir (emphasis on well-made), so I am curious to see what this one is like.

JUBILEE

It’s 1978; it’s time for some weird-ass punk rock cinema, and Derek Jarman was really weird.  He might not be as famous or as prolific as Ken Russell, but he seemed to share lots of Russell’s tendencies and interests.  This is about Queen Elizabeth I traveling through time to a dystopian Punk Rock London and getting into shenanigans.  It’s one of those films from the Midnight Movie Era (Hell, it features Nell Campbell of Rocky Horror fame) that seems to have fallen through the cracks of time in the wake of the death of the Midnight Movie Circuit.  But somebody must love it, because it is in the Critereon Collection, so I’m very interested to experience it.

I suspect we’ll be seeing a couple more Midnight Movies in these polls as we go through the 80‘s.

THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY

It’s 1978; it’s time for some embarrassing disco movies!  And people forget there were a lot of Disco Movies in that small sliver of time when that style of music was King (and before it slowly got co-opted, assimilated and beaten into submission to become one of the foundations of mainstream pop).  The things some people also forgot was that some of these Disco Movies were genuinely Good-To-Great--I defy anyone to not feel the joy of Car Wash, for example--and this one was considered one of those....and yet, it seems to have disappeared from the zeitgeist.  This film featured some kick ass performances (Donna Summer’s ‘Last Dance’ was a Top Ten Hit) and supposedly was pretty funny in its way.  Plus it has a very early performance by one of my favorite Masters of Quirk, Jeff Goldblum, and I’m dying to see that.

COMA

A little disclosure: I adore Geneviève Bujold, and have ever since I saw her in The King of Hearts.  Granted, I think she gets sexier as she gets older--some people need to grow into their faces, and by the 80‘s, she had become the perfect female avatar for some of my favorite directors like Cronenberg and Alan Rudolph--but even in her ingenue days, I thought she was, to quote my therapist, a snack.  I am not going to deny that her presence as the young doctor who uncovers a conspiracy in a Boston Hospital plays a part in my choosing it for the poll.

It also features a set piece that was used in the advertising that haunted me for months.

And yet....

I remember the book that this film was based on.  It was huge, and I remember young fourteen-year-old me struggling to get through it and not getting it at all.  And if I had to choose someone to adapt it for the big screen, Michael Crichton--who was, shall we say, an idiosyncratic writer/director--would not be at the top of that list. Crichton’s filmography is quirky to say the least, so I’m interested to see how he handles this project.

You have to Friday to go to my Twitter Page and vote.  Have fun!

Hey!  Wanna Help Support This Blog And Get Cool Goodies In Return?  Then head on over to The Domicile of Dread Patreon Page and join me on my crusade to Make The World Stranger.  For as little as a dollar a month, you’ll get new fiction and exclusive essays.  Invest a bit more, and get other stuff including advance access to my new television podcast Thomas Deja’s Watching, the Patreon Exclusive Podcast Cinematic Mirage (First episode, focusing on Tales From The Crypt: Dead Easy, is available tomorrow for Patrons at the $5 level or more!), movie commentaries...and even the chance to assign me articles that’ll be published on this very blog!

*--Okay, technically CBS was running The New Avengers, the peculiar follow-up that was produced in cooperation with France and Canada, but the network also ran the color Diana Rigg episodes in the summer after the new episodes ran out.

Friday, August 16, 2019

THE MOVIE OF MY LIFE PHASE ONE: The Osterman Weekend (1983)

I was actually approaching this film with some trepidation.  Even though I am an admirer of Sam Peckinpah, I know the reputation of this film as a truly incoherent mess that provides a sad period to his career.  I think I avoided it precisely because I didn’t want to see one of the distinctive voices of the Last Great Era of American Filmmaking go out like this.

The bad news is that The Osterman Weekend is pretty awful.  It is incoherent to the point where the third act is impenetrable.

The good news is it is not that awful.  It actually has some good moments, good performances and was watchable for most of its hour and forty five minute running time...and I’m willing to bet the incoherence is more Robert Ludlam’s fault than Sam Peckinpah*.

Rutger Hauer plays John Tanner, a television journalist with a tendency to catch public figures with their pants down.  CIA director Maxwell Danforth (Burt Lancaster) is convinced three of Tanner’s friends are part of a Soviet spy ring called Omega and assigns newly returned agent Laurence Fassett (John Hurt) to conduct a sting utilizing a weekend reunion to get one of the three agents to turn....and it all goes wrong.

Obviously, this is a manly movie; it’s not for nothing that the first female name in the cast list is sixth (it’s obvious Meg Foster is the female lead because she is a hunting enthusiast, kills guys in the big set piece and doesn’t show her breasts).  With the exception of Foster’s Ali, the women are there to show off their bodies and cater to their husbands.  You can tell which characters Peckinpah cares about--with the exception of Fassett, the CIA operatives are just Guys With Guns and if it wasn’t for the characters being played by Dennis Hopper and Chris Sarandon In A Comical Brooklyn Accent, two of the Omega Trio would have no personality at all.  The main action sequence (which should have been a climax) does Pekinpah's ‘Every Place Has A West' trope to the point where our good guys utilize bows and arrows to dispatch the baddies.  Even with the rather muddled climax implying a more cerebral assault on the Evil, this is all about Men Protecting Men’s Property From Other Men.

There’s a sense that Peckinpah was trying to say something about the American Obsession with watching; it’s not for nothing that there are extended sequences of Hurt or Hauer watching other characters on monitors (frequently sex scenes, which makes it seem like you’re watching porn over somebody’s shoulder) and that the two people who end up being the...heroes?...of this story both work in the television industry.  But whatever he’s trying to say is drowned out by the sheer convolutedness of the script--which I think is very much more the fault of the source material.

The strongest thing in this film, like in most of Peckinpah’s features, is some of the acting.  I was pleasantly taken aback by how much chemistry Hauer has with Foster, and how Foster had a lot more agency than the usual Peckinpah Heroine.  Hauer also has a great give-and-take with Craig T. Nelson (playing the titular Osterman) to the point where I was wishing the film was just about those two characters.  And John Hurt’s character may be obtusely written, but God Bless Him, the man gives that confusing character gravitas by sheer force of will.

The Osterman Weekend is not the godawful travesty I’ve been led to believe.  It’s got serious problems, including a third act that is nonsense, but it is a worthwhile watch for people who like spy thrillers, the work of Peckinpah, or cheesy thrillers.  I have to give this a Mild Recommend.

Hey!  Wanna Help Support This Blog And Get Cool Goodies In Return?  Then head on over to The Domicile of Dread Patreon Page and join me on my crusade to Make The World Stranger.  For as little as a dollar a month, you’ll get new fiction and exclusive essays.  Invest a bit more, and get other stuff including advance access to my new television podcast Thomas Deja’s Watching, the Patreon Exclusive Podcast Cinematic Mirage (First episode, focusing on Tales From The Crypt: Dead Easy, dropping this Monday!), movie commentaries...and even the chance to assign me articles that’ll be published on this very blog!

*--Don’t argue with me; I’ve seen the handful of messed-up movies made from Ludlam’s overtly complicated output.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

IF EVERYBODY’S DOING IT, WHY CAN’T WE: The Mirage Is Opening...

When I opened up the Deja’s Domicile of Dread Patreon, I announced that I was going to do a special Patreon-Exclusive Podcast for those signing up at the $5 Tier or above, covering Movies That Do Not Exist.

Well, starting this Monday...the Mirage is open.

I’ll be starting my exploration of films that never reached the cinema, exploring their history, why they never got made or released, and what they may have been about.  The first episode is the first segment of a three parter covering the Tales From The Crypt Presents franchise, which was a trilogy that only one of its original scripts actually got made.  This piece of promo art to the left is just a teaser of the journey we’re taking.

(And yes, I am interrupting that three parter with a special episode on The Hunt in the coming weeks....and if anyone is interested in coming on with me to discuss this story, let me know)

You will be able to listen to this excursion into What Could Have Been starting August 19th...but only if you sign up for the Patreon.  So now’s a good time.  If you can spare the $5 or more, you should enjoy yourself with  new writings, early access to Thomas Deja's Watching and (at the $7 and $10 tiers) such goodies as movie commentaries, the ability to assign me articles and the right to choose a film I cover on this year's Halloween Horrorfest.  I could definitely use the cash to make my life normal.

You can experience a taste of what I’ve got in store by listening to The Promo!

So see you at The Mirage.  I’ve got a seat ready just for you!



Monday, August 12, 2019

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#624

Sure, you’ve heard of Blacula.  I know you’ve heard of Sugar Hill.  You probably even heard of Abby and JD.  But have you heard of...Blackenstein?

This week Des and I visit this relic from the Blaxploitation 70‘s and....well, we tell you whether a film that is literally subtitled The Black Frankenstein in case you didn’t get the sophisticated word play is a pleasant surprise or a stinky mess.  Then Rich The Monster Movie Kid tiptoes through the carnage in his review of the Tiny Tim starring Blood Harvest.

The trailers are below as is a video on what would happen if all the people in a slasher movie were black, a featurette on the last days of Tiny Tim, and a song about Clowns.

Listen to Dread Media #624 here

Monday, August 5, 2019

Meanwhile, Over At Dread Media....#623

It’s time to get Dark and Existential on this episode!  First up, Des and Darryll take a drive down David Lynch’s psycho-sexual Lost Highway.  And since Des is on the road this week, Rich The Monster Movie Kid takes the wheel to review the 1977 oddity The Car.

The Trailers are below (including one for an apparent reboot, The Car: Road To Revenge!), an interview with David Lynch, two countdowns of Cursed Cars, and some Punjabi Hip-Hop (honest)!

Listen to Dread Media #623 here




Thursday, August 1, 2019

Phase SLIME of...THE HONEYWELL EXPERIMENT!

The Summer of Slime continues at the OcaDecaGonaGon as special guest Greg Lamberson discusses his first film, the Midnight Movie Slime City with me and my lab monkey Chris Honeywell.  Join us as we follow Greg’s journey through New York City’s filmmaking community in efforts to make this now classic low-budget masterpiece.  Also learn about how decades later his love of filmmaking was rekindled, prompting him to make the sequel Slime City Massacre!

You can find this illuminating chat here

So chow down on some Himilayan Yogurt, drink some Home-Made Wine and dive into some War Stories of Guerilla Filmmaking!

If you would like to support this podcast and similar works--like the Patreon Exclusive Cinematic Mirage: The Theater of Movies That Don’t Exist, debuting August 19th--,would like to receive goodies in return, please consider becoming a Domicile of Dread Patreon. There are five tiers ranging from a dollar a month (which isn’t much, honestly) to ten dollars that can net you exclusive reviews, podcasts, movie commentaries and more.  Go here to sign up!

WHEN WE WERE ULTRA: Punked By A Green-And-Purple Sci-Fi Cockroach and Other Indignities (RUNE V. 2, RUNE V. VENOM, RUNE: HEARTS OF DARKNESS, RUNE/CONAN crossover event)

  As with the other three Ultraverse titles that netted itself a second volume, changes were very apparent in the new, post-Black September ...