If Everybody’s Doing, Why Can’t We: The Debut of A Special Giveaway, Ko-Fi and...The Twelve Labors of Hallmark!

I'm going to be hawking a few things here, and I'm going to be hawking them hard.  You see, on Friday--moments before I was about to conduct a Livestream on Facebook updating y'all on what I've got going on this December--the Asus Laptop I have used for almost a decade to bring you all the creative musings and efforts that bleed out of my fervid brain (ick!) just stopped working.  As of this writing, turning it on only prompts the lights in front to go on; there's no sound of anything working like it used to, just silence and four mocking green glows.

Luckily, I decided to hold onto Wonderbox The Iron Horse Toshiba laptop when my mother was planning on turning in our unused electronics for recycling.  This thing has literally been kicking around since the turn of the millenium (to give you an idea of how aged it is, it operates on Microsoft Vista!) and, even though it is slow as hell, it still works at a reasonable pace.  This is what I'm using until the Asus comes back to life...but there is the very real chance that the Asus is truly dead.  That means I'm going to need a new laptop if I am to continue my efforts to illuminate, inform and entertain you.

So there's several things I am going to do.  First up, I've set up a Ko-Fi Account.  This is for you folks who might want to support me but don't want to commit to a monthly donation.  Just head on over here and throw me a few bucks...

Secondly, I've got a special giveaway to encourage you to join the Patreon at the $7 level or higher.  The $7 level (The Domicile of Commentaries) nets you any writings on my Patreon like my review last month of Greg Lamberson's new film Widow's Point and the ongoing serial Liberty*, advance access to the TV podcast Thomas Deja's Watching, two Patreon Exclusive Podcasts (Cinematic Mirage: The Theater of Movies That Don't Exist and Pacific Rim Rialto), any special gift I devise for my followers like the upcoming audio chapbook recorded for Halloween Wings of Fame, and quarterly movie commentaries.  The next two people who sign up for this level will also get a softcover copy of The Best of bare bones, a collection of essays, articles and interviews that originally appeared in the magazine that rose from the ashes of The Scream Factory.  I'm represented in this book by an interview with detective novelist Richard Prather--if you aren't aware of Prather or his series character Shell Scott, you need to get acquainted with his work!--and an overview of George S. Chesbro's sci-fi/detective/spy thriller mash-up Mongo.  I will gladly personalize it for you, and it's yours for free if you sign up this month.

The final one is one I've been teasing for a few days now.  And now, thanks to Chris Honeywell, who lives to creep out people, I even have a banner for it:

I'm striving to keep alternative universes of Kelli Pickler from colliding!

So what are The Twelve Labors of Hallmark?

I know you enjoy seeing me suffer.  You know I loathe Christmas; hell, I spend the holidays trying to get Jólakötturinn The Yule Cat the attention she deserves.  So, to encourage you to donate either through Patreon and Ko-Fi, I am going to subject myself to twelve examples of the absolute worst Hallmark or Hallmark-adjacent (you know...ABC Family/Freeform and the like) Christmas movies starting December 14th and running through Christmas Day.

To make sure I am subjecting myself to an actual cesspool of Sugar Sweet, Misguided Yuletide Yuck, I have the list curated by two men who know Hallmark Christmases: Critically Acclaimed Network  maven William Bibbiani and noted writer and editor Alonso Duralde.  You know a bit about William, but Alonso is the writer of Have Yourself A Movie Little Christmas, the definitive tome on the subject.  They've come up with a gauntlet that would give even the most enthusiastic fan the worst douche chills...and I am going to go through it for your entertainment.

All I ask is that you please donate to keeping the Domicile afloat by either becoming a Patreon** (which will net you cool stuff) or dropping a few dollars into my Ko-Fi cup.

So please...I need to get this thing upgraded if I am to continue entertaining you.  I am not asking for a handout--I am making myself suffer for your amusement, and if you join the Patreon you're getting new, cool stuff made just for you--but I am asking for your help.  I like to think y'all are kind, compassionate people who just happen to enjoy making my cry on special occasions.  I am determined to continue my quest to make the world stranger into 2020 and beyond...hopefully, you'll come along for the ride.

*--The almost complete second segment of Liberty is trapped in the hard drive of the sick-maybe-dead Asus...so I have to start from scratch.  Expect the next segment shortly after the new year.

**--and, if you have a little left over in your monthly budget, may I suggest joining the Critically Acclaimed Network Patreon?